Arguments with myself

I argue with myself. Sometimes it feels like there are two of me.

One of me wants to be a physician with one or two kids in a big city with a big fancy house and a maid and nanny to go with it. This person likes fast and easy and agrees with traditional medicine. She wants a super successful husband with a nice car and fancy vacations. She can afford to buy local organic fruits and veggies, grass fed beef and free range eggs and chicken.

The other me wants to be a stay at home mom with at least six kids on a farm. She does not want someone else to clean her house or teach her kids. She homeschools, makes everything from scratch, grows most of it in her back yard. She has a dairy cow and chickens. She is into sustainable living. She works with her husband on the farm with the kids and that's all they need. She is suspicious of anything that hasn't been around for 200 years.

These two me's agree on few things. They both love Jesus. They both want to be healthy and do what's best for the family. But this looks different to each of them. One cares what the newest research says and the other wants to how things were done 50 or 100 years ago.

You may see me argue with myself on this blog about full fat dairy, raw milk, immunizations, the value of kids activities, etc, etc. And you can chime in with why you believe as you do. But please be respectful of both me's :)

I will never be able to be just one or the other. Somewhat because it is unlikely that I will be a rich physician or a farm wife any time soon. In this Jesus is showing me how to be content with the life He has for me. And right now with a tight budget and no farm, some of the choices I would like to make are not in reach.

New Beginnings

I am planning to blog on several themes over time, and hopefully soon will have tabs on my main page for each theme.  These may not be the official tab titles, but it is close:  Health, Parenting, Breastfeeding, Real Food, and Faith.  Today I feel led to share the journey I’m on with God.

I have been reading Reading God's Story: One-Year Chronological Plan on YouVersion since January 1^st.  And yesterday I finished the Old Testament and began the New Testament.  Last time I read the entire Bible in chronological order when I finally got to the New Testament I was overwhelmed with feelings of “OOOOOH, that is why they call it the GOOD NEWS”.  It was so good to be out of the prophets and all the talk of God’s judgment and into the Gospels and reading about Jesus.

That was 16 years ago. This time I am again glad to be into the New Testament, but I am thoroughly struck by the theme of new beginnings.  That I am embarking on a new journey with God.   One where money is very tight and I will actually be depending on HIM for getting us through it all.  Don’t get me wrong, money should not be tight.  God has provided abundantly, and I have not been a faithful steward of what He has provided.  And since we are committed to me being a stay at home mom right now, we have to work our way out of our own mess. 

Strangely I am excited.  When I quit being anxious.   I am hopeful that I can be a good example to my girls of faith, depending on God, growing in Him and giving them very tangible lessons of faith, obedience, and walking with God.  And we can all grow closer to Him and to each other.  It will be hard.  But I will attempt to seek first His Kingdom [TL2] and cling to:

Psalms 37:25 I was once young, now I am old.

I have never seen a godly man abandoned,

or his children forced to search for food.

http://bible.org/netbible/