Colic, what now?

What are a mom and dad to do when their baby is fussy?  I mean really fussy?  A baby that fussy once in a while is no problem.  But what if baby fusses a lot every day?  If it is your first baby you might think it is your fault.  And the baby’s fussiness might make it even harder than usual for you to feel like life has gotten back to normal after his birth.

And you might begin to wonder if your baby has colic.  Colic is when a healthy baby cries for more than 3 hours a day more than three days a week for more than three weeks.  It usually starts when the baby is about two weeks old.  Then it usually worsens until baby is 6 weeks old and goes away when baby is between 12 and 16 weeks old.  This was first described by Wessel in his 1954 article.

Even though we have known about colic since at least 1954, we still don’t know exactly what causes it.  There are many ideas including an immature intestinal system, making too much gas, formula intolerance, food allergies, or intestinal cramping.

And since we don’t know what causes it, it is really hard to treat or even decrease the symptoms.  The first thing is to make sure that it is in fact colic and not a different problem which can be treated or resolved.  So, a baby with colic is otherwise normal.  They have normal feeding, normal weight gain, and normal poopy diapers.  They do not have a fever and they do not vomit or spit up more than usual.  They do have a lot of gas, but that could be from swallowing extra air while they are crying.

If you think your baby may have colic, it is a good idea to keep a journal of baby’s crying and take it to an appointment with your medical provider.  Then, together, you can figure out if the baby has colic or something else.

While you are keeping your journal and waiting for your appointment here are some things to try. 

Swaddle baby like pictured and put him in a quiet dark room.  Sometimes this helps, especially if baby has been overstimulated or is overtired.

Testing out the Colic Massager by ThrasherDave on Flickr

Or try one of these two ways to hold baby and then bounce, sway, or walk.  You can also try baby belly down on your knees and then rock or glide.

shiatsu for babies by miss pubik on Flickr

A walk in the stroller or a drive in the car may soothe baby.  Sometimes a vibrating baby seat or a baby swing will help.  I have even known babies to do better in the swing if it vibrates.  Try turning an electric razor with the lid on in the swing to make it vibrate.  Some will put baby on the clothes dryer.  Only try this if you are right there watching, to make sure baby does not fall off the dryer.

Vibrating Chair, our lifesaver! by bradleyolin on Flickr

You can try Mylicon drops and really good burping, baby massage and probiotics.  Some say that a chiropractic adjustment or reflexology helps.  I have not found good data to suggest these work, but since each baby is different, one of them might help your baby.

If it is in fact colic, almost nothing helps.  If your baby has colic, try to find a trusted person to help give you breaks during the fussy period.  And give yourself breaks if you need it by putting baby down like we talked about yesterday.  A recent study looked at alternative medicine studies for treatments that are effective.  Of all the ones tested fennel or fennel chamomile tea and sucrose water showed the most promise for being effective.  For more information talk to your medical provider.

Have you heard of this baby?

A difficult baby.  Or a high needs baby.  What about a spirited baby?  All pretty much names for the baby that requires a lot of work.  Not necessarily colic.  Because colic has a very specific definition. Tomorrow we will talk about colic and some of the baby soothing techniques to try with colicky babies or really any fussy baby.

I had one of these babies.  The baby that stopped crying when you bounced her.  Then started to cry again and would stop again when you bounced her harder.  And then for the first time, the pediatric nurse suddenly understood how someone could shake a baby.  Because, when does bouncing become shaking?  This is not exactly a question most people want to ask their medical provider.

So, let me tell you.  Until you have had this kind of baby you might not get it. If you have one, be encouraged.  First, babies do not die from crying.  They do die from parents being overwhelmed by the feelings and frustrations of having a baby that cries all the time.  If you have done everything: ie fed her, changed her, burped her, and she is not sick, then put her down in a safe place.  Go somewhere where you can’t hear her and get your calm and quiet back.  It is absolutely safe for a baby over two weeks old to cry for 10 minutes, and older babies can cry longer.  (See my disclaimer and talk to your medical provider about how long to let your baby cry)  You will be a better parent, and she may be asleep when you get back.

There are a lot of different explanations for why some babies are spirited.  I am going to boil it down to a word.  Personality.  Just imagine if you were a smart competitive person and you could not get your body to do ANYTHING!  And you couldn’t tell anyone what you wanted!  Not all babies are this type A, but some are.

You see, I have studied all about babies and children.  There is always more to learn, but I know about my children as individuals and then I know about other children as a group. The variations of normal, what I have seen work before for other children.  But you are the parent, the mother or father.  And when a new baby comes into your family you have a lot of people come into your life giving you advice.  And that is what it is.  You should listen to wise people whom you respect and those who have experience. But however they say it they are giving you advice.

One of your biggest jobs as a mother is to become the expert on your child.  So, others can tell you what worked for their child and their family and you and your husband can decide whether that is worth a try for your child and your family.  This is true for babies, and toddlers, and up as they grow.  Know your child. 

So, for my high needs spirited baby.  I am just sure that she was bored and frustrated.  I thought she was bored then, and now that she is twelve and I know her even better I am still sure she was bored.  Her brain goes a thousand miles an hour, and until she could occupy her mind she filled that with occupying her body. 

  Once she could move on her own she was a much happier baby.  Still hard for mom.  I had to move 100 miles an hour to try to keep up with her.  Now she can read fast enough to occupy herself and she has become quite the young lady.  And she helps me with my running after the little boy soon to be boys.

So, what if you are in the middle of this now?  How do you make it until they are older?

First, check your attitude.  God created us each as individuals.  And He made us moms of these particular babies for a reason.  I believe that they are both a gift to us and a way God makes us grow.  And He gives moms and dads what it takes to parent the children He has given.

Second, God has gifted your child with certain characteristics on purpose.  They can be great positives for His glory.  Whatever it is that you are tempted to call a negative about your child, try to flip that coin over and call it by the name God gave it.  Thus the name spirited instead of difficult.  Full of energy instead of hyperactive.  Determined instead of stubborn.  You get the idea.  Determination can be of great use in God's kingdom when we see it as He does and train the child to use it for His glory.

Third, these energetic bored babies have what it takes to be really good at something.  Often a sport.  Think Michael Phelps.  You can have that kind of energy with or without ADHD.  Try to find a sport or physical activity that they enjoy and can use that energy.  Actually, that is good advice for all children.  Helping them to find the way to be active that they enjoy is a skill that they will use for life to stay healthy.  But, for the really energetic ones I think it is the sport that saves mom’s sanity.  For us it was gymnastics.  When she watched tv she was either jumping on the couch or doing a head stand.  Upside down was her preferred position starting at about 4 months old.   And for years, everyone knew if she missed gymnastics by her behavior. 

Hang in there and check here for more about colic and calming fussy babies.